Acey-Ducey

Acey-Ducey could possibly be the worst card game created of all time. Anyone that has had the pleasure of playing this gambler's game of chance knows what I mean. The idea is simple enough. Everyone antes up a buck to the pot. Pots start small... usually a few bucks or more depending on the number of suckers you got playing. You're dealt two cards and given the option to bet that the next card is in between those two cards. You can bet as much as the pot has in it. If you're in between... you win and everyone antes up again. If you're out, you pay as much as you bet. And if your card is one of the two you were dealt... you're fucked. You then pay double the amount you wagered. When this happens, your "friends" tend to high-five and cheer. You can see how the pots can get out of hand with a few bad calls. I remember long, lonely walks to the ATM machine in college. I hadn't played in forever...and it came back in a big way a couple nights ago.

The night started off great. A buddy of mine decided to get some food and some drinks. A couple martinis and an overcooked burger later and it was time for the check. The waitress comes over and tells us its our lucky day... the power went out and the owner said it's on the house. We each throw $10 down for tip and walk out happy. Result: Up $20.

We go back to my house to shake up some more martinis. Always a good idea on a Tuesday. A couple more go down and next thing you know, we're meeting up with a few others at a local bar down the street. Result: Still Up $20... I already had the gin.

We arrive and pull a seat up to the bar. There's a couple other weirdos, but basically just friends. Unfortunately, one of the bastards has a deck of cards. Acey-Ducey is suggested, and it sounds like the best thing in the world to a drunk who loves to gamble. I proceed to incorrectly explain the rules to the randos and the game begins. The randos quickly lose their money... they were no match for a game this cruel. It's down to three of us. At this point, I didn't have much cash anyways, so I was playing with borrowed money. Nothing bigtime... maybe about $20. I lose that to a POT call (you have to yell it) that results in me paying double. I wasn't about to lose to this game... so I ask to borrow more. I am now keeping track of my debts by scribbling onto a napkin. When asked how I am going to cover my bets, I simply point to the napkin. I had now lost too much money into the pot, without any real money to cover it. No one could bet because the pot was full of money tracked by my illegible napkin. I equate this to the current economic meltdown... I was like a Fannie Mae with bad debt clouding the pot. Now that it was time to collect, there was nothing there. The night ended with me trying to court people back to my house for more Acey-Ducey. In hindsight, it was better that no one agreed. End Result: Down about a hundo.